As I once read...The controversy has been most intense regarding memory for
trauma: Are some types of trauma associated with impaired memory
for the event and avoidant encoding of trauma-related information?
Yes the answer to this puzzle is yes.
As I wrote the about the great moments of the sandwich seed the traumatic seen that was a few moments earlier escaped me. It took a good friend to remind me (actually point and laugh at me) to remind me that life is totally worth laughing at.
So Trish and I and all the monkeys were at Arby's. I was telling her some deep part of our life history, between bites of my hot ham and cheese, and I brought up the fact that we had planned on waiting to get pregnant until I was 25. I with my normal over exuberance displayed my shock and sheer terror of being pregnant at 20 years old.
THEN THIS IS THE MEMORY BLOCKING PART.

ME: We were so shocked and I was not planning on being pregnant that young.

Madie: Hey Mommy--Did you not want me to be born?

ME: (secret personal thoughts in the 3 seconds between her question and my answer..what is wrong with you..nerd...you've done it now..scared Madie forever...terrible mother...why would you say that in front of her...nerd...wheres DHS? are they here yet...therapy- think of the bills)

ME: (outloud, in the sweetest voice you have EVER heard) Oh Madie what Mommy was trying to tell Miss Trish was that Daddy and I were surprised that Jesus blessed us with you. We planned on waiting until Mommy was older, but I am so glad that he gave you to me and he choose you to be my girl. Just think if you were not born early you would have never meet Papa and I think that was Gods plan. He knows way better than Mommy and Daddy about the plans he has for us.

pause...pause..sweat...sweat

Madie: oh...so you were just surprised when Jesus gave me to you.

ME: Yes, sweet baby lover bumkin just SURPRISED. (whew!!!)

The point is...Madie is listening. Be aware of all conversations and TV playing because she is the iron eagle eaves dropper. Another thing...she can spell. No more---Hey later do you want to go to the P-O-O-L. Her answer is ---I'll grab my towel!